I am a 26 year old mother of two. My fiance, Thomas met in 2006, instant connection, love at first sight and all that jazz. We were living together after bareley a week of dating, we have been inseparable every since. We had our first child together Nov.20 2007, our daughter, Madasun Lee. A few years later we were blessed again with another beautiful daughter, Morgun Marie on Oct. 07, 2010. Madasun was diagnosed with Autism on December 23rd 2009. She is classified as having "classic Autism". She is non verbal but making progress in communicating. Having a child with Autism has grounded me. It has taught me more understanding,acceptance, patience and compassion. It has taught me to be more resourceful and determined. It has taught me inspiration, appreciation and strength. A type of strength I never knew i was capable of having. It has taught me the beauty of being different. Having a child with Autism means your life isn't an easy or "normal" one, but that doesn't mean it is not a good one. It is a different and challenging one.
Yes, I wish my child would talk. I wish I could hear "i love you mommy" or hear what my child is thinking or what they did at school. I wish that certain things didn't cause her to have painful sensory overload and suffer meltdowns. I wish we could go to a restaurant, a dance recital, soccer practice or swim meet instead of therapy, doctors visits etc. I wish my child could sleep normally instead of waking at up anywhere from 2-3am. I wish my child would eat more than 10 things. But I am thankful it was Autism and not leukemia. I am thankful I can hug my child. I am thankful my child smiles, can walk and run, that my child can see, and is healthy. I am thankful my child laughs, cuddles, sings and learns. I am thankful my child is making progress, no matter how big or small, no matter how fast or slow. I will celebrate every milestone she reaches no matter how slow, and no matter what I will never lose hope or the faith that I have in her. Thank you Madasun for all the magic you teach me to see in the world that others are often too busy to notice. You inspire and amaze me every day and I would not change our crazy, hectic, beautiful life for anything this world has to offer. I am proud that the lord chose me to be your mother and as God as my witness I will fight to free your voice and help you over come that bitch they call Autism.
Yep I called Autism a bitch, because if your honest with yourself it is. I am an optimistic person and I don't dwell on the darkness but my child is non verbal and has severe classic Autism and there will be times i hate Autism because of the struggles my daughter faces because of it. Autism is not what makes her special or makes her who she is. She is Madasun, and Autism is something she has it is not WHO SHE IS. This blog is our story, we have a crazy, beautiful journey and if our journey helps just one person then that's good enough for me. Ultimately this is my place to let it go and let it out.
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