An idea of what its like to have a child with Autism. Why I might not make it to every birthday party, night out, movie, dinner...why I might have to cancel last minute, why I may be late, why you see an abundance of Autism related posts on my FB...in April a lot of my posts on my personal FB pertain to Autism, I'm always posting something but during Awareness month I "open the flood gates" so to speak. So here is why...there are way too many people out there who misunderstand Autism. My first born, my daughter, my Madasun is non verbal and is moderately-severely Autistic. My daughter does a lot of amazing things but the hell we endure needs to have a some light shed on it. Positive, feel good Autism stories are amazing and I love them and I myself spread optimism to the families I encounter daily on this journey but we leave the darker more serious side of Autism left out far too often which can cause people who don't live this life to misunderstand... "What's a big deal that kid is just quirky" We need to show a little more of the non verbal, self injurious, non potty trained 8yr olds, 16yrs olds, 20 yr olds etc Because Autism does severely affect many. It is a spectrum disorder so it affects it individuals differently. Madasun is 6yrs old. She is non verbal, still in pull ups, she goes through phases of insane sleep patterns(weeks sometimes months of only getting 2-3hrs of sleep a night) she has severe sensory issues when it comes to food, certain clothing and noises. She can have intense meltdowns out of no where and can harm herself. Routine changes are hard for her to understand, routine and consistency help ASD individuals. She is progressing(slowly but any progress is a HUGE deal to us) progress fills us with hope. She is very smart it is just hard for others to see unless they take the time to watch her. She is kind, genuine, funny, she does not judge others she is accepting of all, she does not care about your past, your mistakes, she does not bully or make fun of anyone. She respects every living creature and appreciates things in life that most of us are too busy or just unable to notice. She is an amazing little girl but she goes through things I pray no one has to endure, but millions do. I see her become frustrated from not being able to communicate. I watch her as she sees kids do things and the look of curiosity and a sort of sadness overcome her. I encourage her do anything, and make her try things but because her brain works the way it does, and because where she is right now she gets frustrated because she wants to do them but the kids might not know how to play or talk to her, the coach doesn't know how to explain it to her, the movie theater is too dark and too loud...she wants to be there but her autism makes her react to things in a way she cant control and that is frustrating to her. She is for the most part a very happy child, she enjoys a lot but I see her, I see her have sadness in her eyes because she is trapped in her head so to speak. Imagine being in a foreign place and no one speaks your language...I imagine it is similar. My heart breaks when I think how hard it must be to not be able to say what's on your mind, or if something happens that excites you or made you happy, or sad, hurt etc.

I post so much on my personal page not only my Autism pages because most of my friends don't have a child with Autism, a lot of the people on my friends list have misconceptions, don't know much about it etc those are the people who we need to focus on spreading awareness to. Autism is not a discipline issue, a fad, or a simple personality trait. It is a very serious bio- neurological developmental disability. It ranges from mild to severe so when you know one person with Autism, you know one person...each is different. So please try to be understanding, don't judge, don't stare, don't make false ignorant comments. Learn about it, ask questions, get involved in a special needs event in the community try to put yourself in the shoes of someone with Autism. Try to put yourself in their parents shoes. Imagine your child is 6, 7 or 8+ and still has never said "I love you". Imagine seeing everyone rush off to the things you dreamed of when your child was born, dance, sports, slumber parties, bike rides with friends etc and them never coming. Imagine watching all the children you have watched grow up with your child at their Christmas program at school and your child not be up there, imagine having to fight tooth and nail to get your community or school to involve your child. Imagine your child not having any friends. My family is fortunate for a little girl in particular named Kaydence. She is the daughter of my best friend and she has been an unfailing friend to Madasun. She gets on her level and plays with her, doesn't push her, or make her feel less. She " speaks her language" because she has always opened her heart and understood and with out questions accepted. In our many conversations she has explained about accepting people who are different and how no one should judge them or not be their friend just BC they are different from you. I hope that every child on the spectrum mild or severe can have at least one friend like that. Teach your children about differences, different is not better or worse its just different. Teach them to accept others and respect them as human beings. Any child especially a child with special needs should never be treated less then that of their peers. No one asks for Autism, or ADD/ADHD, Epilepsy, Cerebral Palsy, Downs, Deafness, Blindness, behavioral disorders, mental disorders or developmental disabilities. They are bestowed upon them with out any say in the matter and they face challenges and fight battles daily.

Remember to appreciate your kids, listen to them, those conversations they try to have every second with you that may annoy you, are a treasure. Treasure the family nights at the movie theater, the family dinners, the Christmas programs, dance recital, soccer games, baseball games and so on because there are so many mothers and fathers like you who are fighting to help their children to do the things that come so naturally to those of us who our " nuero-typical ".

So this Autism Awareness Month  learn about Autism, get involved, lend a smile instead of a stare or judgmental comment to the mom you see at the store whose child is stimming or is having a meltdown from a sensory overload. Attend an event, help a sports team incorporate a special needs child, ask questions and spread awareness. Autism is the fastest growing developmental disability, it affects 1 in 68 children in the US. There is no known cause, or cure. Researchers are making advances but the CDC and other health organizations and our government need to step up and take action and help individuals and their families who struggle everyday and for the children who fall through the cracks and are unable to obtain resources and the children who live is small communities like mine. You don't have to have a child with Autism or special needs to get involved, get involved because these are real children, that so very easily could  have been yours. <3